My feeling running crazy

I don't know what is going on with me... feel angry, lonely, sad and empty all in one's..

But I want to feel care not used, Love not joking, and be a Somebody but not to be joke it all the time...

Some people say they know me in just few month but they don't... the one that know me well they have been with me for few years but still don't know me 100%.. I smile, I joke, I'm the most happiest person you will ever see but when I start to lost control, my feeling will just go crazy.. I can't continue this life alone, I need help in my feeling.. I need someone that I can trust with my with my feeling, my heart and my life.. but who can i trust?? where can i find that person?? how do i know she will never destroy my inside out?? how can i know all this??